What is success?

Of course, we all agree that the word success definitely means different to many of us. We hardly get time to think in detail in our life about success that we reach the end of course. We have heard that writing a journal, having a plan, sticking to plan and doing many such actions help us get closer to success. But again, something that can’t be done regularly gets useless action either ways and we stray. 

I would need you to relax a bit before we go through this topic together. Yes, it means getting your favorite coffee, keeping kids busy, finishing your chores and all those untold busy things that you are needed for, and finally arrive at a time where you can read this. I know that is where I lose most of the people who want to read it as that time never comes. But unlike other topics, this one need us to be truthful to ourselves.

Let’s start with an exercise of writing down what success means to us. Top 3 things you want in your life or you to be associated with each decade of your life. So that makes 3 things you prioritise when your are in your 20s, 3 from 30s and so on and it can be same too. Your life, your wish!

What is required to be done to make each of those top 3 things come true? Write it down right next to it. Are you already doing it? Will you be able to do it? What are dependencies around it that makes it tough to get through? Write it all down, pour down your thoughts. Do it for every decade until when you had written. Next is the tough part, strike out all of those that you are by now sure cannot be done due to various reasons and pick the top one which you can and want to do. 

It can be same across decades too and if you think all 3 are possible, don’t strike it off but go for it. Now we have 40-50yrs to complete our plan in most cases and we don’t even know whether we would be alive and live through those ages. The focus should be on every decade equally as some of the goals might need multi decade work too. Now let’s begin the fun part of this blog.

It is highly likely that many of us write the same thing and maybe few decades apart from achieving them. It is a list that I need to write a book to go through but let’s look at few.

Owning a home - most people who are likely to be living a nuclear life in a different city to their hometown tends to choose these. Kids who grew up seeing their parents struggle to build one house would have tried to make it a top priority. Women would often want this done one they are married as a security to family and establish their way of running a home. Some parents would force their kids to have one owing to society.

Real estate investment and rental income - many who had seen their parents get stable returns and got good financial backing from family and stable income tend to get into house constructions and renting it for income to secure a future income security. Some parents have the same thought for their kids.

Studying abroad or job abroad - teenagers and adults alike have this wish assuming a better living quality outside developing countries with less interference from immediate family and a new start to life. Some often link it with better income and forex benefits. Some parents have the same goal for their kids.

Buying a vehicle or bigger vehicle - some want a car and some who got a car already wants to have a bigger better car. Same applies to motorbikes and bikes too.

Better job and more money - top priority for some of us is having a good position in the job even if it takes changing 10 jobs in 20years and earn big bucks that we keep hearing around us to cover for not getting into IIT and IIM. 

Travel around the world - seeing the unseen is also a fantasy for many. Some love to travel and explore the world and its beauty.

Children’s education and marriage - many parents seem to think as far as kids retirement when it comes to Indian households and work hard for a good life for them. Some prioritise top education and fat wedding over many other goals. 

Having a pet - a new trend in developed nations link to having pets and some times quite rare and exotic ones too. 

Miscellaneous - electronic products, fancy jewellery, expensive apparel, rich kids, great neighbourhood, exotic food, owning limited edition items and many many things that we can think of to be added.

As you would expect, I wouldn’t want to stop at that. What do we need to achieve each of those in the list? We really need to find a way to be rich sooner than later so it’s all done. The comedy is that most of us are looking for shortcuts and don’t believe in long term planning and investments as we are in a rush. Take a pause here…….., do we really need to get it all done? We could argue humans need motivation and for that it is required to get it done and live for. But why do we need motivation outside us and not within us? Once again, what is most important to achieve all those that we listed above? 

I am sure when you think again you understand it is you to be there fit and fine through the journey. That’s why most important piece of this life puzzle is you being there with your best mind, body and soul. And guess what, all the three are connected. You need to have a good body which can help you have a sane mind, you have to have a good mind to realize how important it is to work on your body, your soul need your body and mind to work together until it uses this body. Now if you don’t believe in soul, think of it as your current identity. 

This doesn’t mean doing all those listed above is not success. Any of it can be success, but the secret recipe is not to be stressed about it as we can make it much simpler too. The moment we prioritise ourselves (don’t mistake it to be selfishness), we understand that we really don’t need any of the above listed things in reality, what we need is time to do things that makes us happy. What we need is energy to continue doing things that we want to do. What we need is enough money that we don’t end up depending on others to feed our stomach and accommodate ourselves in a place(rented/owned doesn’t really matter).  What we need is clarity of thoughts to have great focus and make a difference in lives of people around us. What we need is to learn continuously and also teach what we learn. What we need is to stay fit and alive and then die gracefully and peacefully.

The real estate above our neck is the one we need to first invest on so we can work on us, we can only build house but for home we need to be there happy and sharing love. There is no better place in this world anywhere where you don’t have the freedom of thoughts and less worry about future. Wherever you are work hard on you and whatever you love. No land is actually more beautiful than where we live and unfortunately we miss enjoying its beauty until we are too old and realize what we miss. Beauty really is in the eyes of the beholder as for every mom her kids are most beautiful. Work on making your next generation efficient and not dependent on you as early as possible to value right things in life and find their happiness. Do not bring more kids to world and make the earth any heavier,  if you can’t provide them the best you think they need. No amount of miscellaneous items can keep you happy for long but the best version of you can keep you more happy. 

Start appreciating the simple things in life, fill life with love, love your life and never stop, stop comparing you with others, others have their worries, worry about nothing, and nothing can stop you!

Happy planning!

P.S. no one really knows what success is but we all talk about it and perceive it in our own ways. No one can take away your success as it is what you think it is.